Times they are a-changing… Just a few years ago, the world was taken by storm by the new fad called selfies. Suddenly everyone was posing in front of their bathroom mirror, with guys flexing and girls pouting their lips. But the harder you push something, the quicker it becomes passé.
Nowadays selfies are often targets of ridicule and putting them on your dating profile is as good as a shotgun blast to the face. Of course, there are always exceptions, and if you prefer the mobile dating sphere you might still get away with such phots. Still, there is a reason why selfies are out, and you’ll achieve far better results if you put a little more effort into those profile photos.
The rapid popularity of selfies didn’t happen by accident. People discovered the ease and convenience with which mobiles allowed them to snap an image of themselves, the results then being shared on social media sites. It allowed the smartphone generation to effortlessly spread their presence in the virtual world.
However, there is something narcissistic about indulging in this activity, which was also pointed out by a study. Not to mention there is some inherent cheapness in the selfies; they don’t require much effort, true, but on the other hand the picture quality is often pretty low. We all know of at least a few instances where a bathroom selfie with an unclean toilet in the background went viral. And those ridiculous attempts of teenage boys photoshopping muscles onto their bodies.
So, put bluntly: selfies are cheap and easy to produce, but they paint a rather indolent image of yourself.
The thing is, selfies have become so cliched and overused that even if you manage to make a good quality portrait of yourself, other daters will still shun you for it. Even at their peak selfies were thought of as an absolute no-no for men by Shayan Zadeh, CEO of Zoosk. He added that it’s important for both genders to have pictures that display their full body.
As for women, selfies aren’t quite as much of an instant mood killer, but posing in skimpy clothing in front of the mirror will definitely attract a crowd of sexually aggressive or perverted dates. If you don’t want to attract that kind of negative attention, then you might want to book a photo studio to shoot a series of professional photos; it might cost you time and money, but the results will undoubtedly earn you more attention with more appealing prospective dates.
The only dating platform where we believe selfies have a legitimate chance is Tinder. Since most users only spend a few seconds inspecting the photos, there is a smaller emphasis on the details. Tinder is all about photos and chatting, so if you have a larger portfolio – even if it consists solely of selfies – then you have a better shot of getting swept right.
To give credit where credit is due, selfies do have their benefits in online dating, but not in the public image section. If you manage to connect with a partner but want confirmation of their identity (there are plenty of catfishes and scammers out there), then simply ask them to send a selfie striking a special pose. Exchanging goofy selfies is also a good way to entertain each other.
In the end, it’s good to know that selfies aren’t meant to woe over potential dates, but can still be used to instead deepen your bond with an existing partner.
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