How Often to Message Your Online Date

Swiftly, but not too soon

Timing is the key to success. When sending simple messages (not chat texts), make sure to keep a brief pause between your replies, otherwise you might seem overly attached to the person and give the impression you have nothing better to do. On the other hand, being late to respond while chatting gives the impression that you are bored, not interested or multitasking, which can be quite an insult.

It’s also worthwhile to take a peek at the clock before sending a message. Doing so on a Saturday night tells the other that you have no social life, even if you do. Texting someone late at night is also often considered rude, since your would-be partner might want to sleep.

Patience is key with online dating, and that’s true when it comes to messages, too. Never spam the other person with messages, you should rather wait for the other to reply instead of demanding their attention. There is often a reason behind your potential date’s disappearance, such as a family visit, hospitalization, work problems, or simply connectivity issues. There is nothing more disheartening than seeing a truckload of angry messages after a brief hiatus.

Unfortunately, not every one of your dates will continue to respond. Ghosting is a sad trend in dating where someone wishes to break up with the other by ceasing all forms of communication. If you suspect that your match is avoiding you, wait a few days and then write them a short message asking whether they wish to continue the relationship. If no answer is given, then give up on them – that person doesn’t deserve your attention.