With over 200 million business and restaurant reviews worldwide, Yelp is one of the biggest crowd-sourced review apps around. From diners and bars to beauty salons and local events, Yelp offers a comprehensive list of everything there is to do in your area. Plus, it allows you to make reservations, book appointments, and order food delivery without having to leave the app. Overall, it’s a great place to promote your business, and most of the reviews are helpful. But there are also a lot of funny reviews that will crack you up. From people rating their ‘experiences’ of going to the moon to stories that seem to come straight out of a movie, there’s a bit of everything on Yelp.
The Ice Cream Truck
Imagine you’re in a restaurant, excited to get some tasty Mexican food. Then an ice cream truck passes by, and everyone working in the restaurant stops what they’re doing. In a few seconds, you’re all alone in the building, as the entire kitchen and waitstaff have just run outside. After ten minutes of trying to understand what just happened, the team comes back inside, each one with an ice cream cone in their hand. That’s what happened to Ross – something that they’ll remember for the rest of their life.
The Human Flamethrower
If you only took a glance at this reviewer’s four-star rating, you might expect that they enjoyed the food and the place overall. Well, you wouldn’t be wrong – they did enjoy their meal. However, nothing prepared us (or them) for what came next. We all know that Indian food can sometimes play tricks with our stomachs. Still, it’s one thing to have an upset stomach; another thing entirely different is to “literally pee out of your butt.” In fact, the restaurant had everything to get a maximum score – if only the food hadn’t transformed the reviewer into a “human flamethrower.”
Short and Straight To the Point
If you’re into dark humor, you’re going to love this. In case you didn’t know, you can review bus companies on Yelp too, and this reviewer had already given a good review of one previously. However, a certain event made them come back to the app and downgrade it to three stars. Here’s the thing, the last bus they went on ran over two pedestrians and just kept going. Honestly, three stars seem like too many if you ask us.
Come for the Food, Stay for the History
Everyone has a store in their neighborhood that no one understands how it’s still open. That’s the case for Meghan, who lives near a business that mostly sells “junk.” Plus, she’s pretty sure most of the food expired years ago. On the bright side, all the old newspapers still on sale might be perfect for history buffs to visit and enjoy a blast from the past.
Not Recommended for People on a Diet
Most people would rate a restaurant five stars if it does everything right, but others might see it the other way around. For example, Eric decided to give the lowest score possible to this restaurant because it’s the worst place to go when you’re on a diet. The food is so delicious that you won’t be able to stop eating it. Plus, Eric doesn’t recommend the establishment to customers who enjoy being unhappy because the staff will make you smile – they even keep everything clean and sanitary.
Meal With a Hairy Side Dish
We have to give it to Real D. – if we ate in a restaurant twice and found a silver hair in our food both times, we wouldn’t go back. This reviewer really tried to give this restaurant a chance. But it seems there’s a 100% guarantee that you’ll get hair in your food. This reviewer visited three times over the course of a year and a half and always found hair in his food. The strangest thing is that it’s the same color each time – we guess that the silver-haired cook has been there for a while.
Got Caught Shoplifting, Still Gave Three Stars
One thing we weren’t expecting at all was to find a review from a shoplifter, but it’s one of the funniest stories we’ve read in a while. Certainly, this was no master criminal. When we think about stealing food, one thing that doesn’t come to mind is taking a spillable liquid. Well, this reviewer put a large container of stolen hot soup in their backpack only for it to immediately spill all over their stuff.
You would expect they’d leave right away, but no. Instead, the thief tried to take a whole chicken and macaroni salad. That’s when they got caught. But the store’s management was surprisingly kind and didn’t call the police. Instead, they just told them to leave and banned them from the establishment. Maybe that’s why the reviewer gave a three-star rating even though they were upset that the staff didn’t allow them to use the bathroom to clean their soup-stained bag.